Nick King's Blog

I've done some pretty cool things, but nothing's as cool as creating our family

3yo:”Daddy you’re Santa” Me:”Ho Ho Ho!” 3:”You’re lion Santa” Me:”Rooaar! Ho Ho Ho!” 3yo:”Now chase me!” Me:”Roaar! Ho Ho Ho!”*runs* #random

When you become a parent, you basically abandon any pretext of gravitas don't you?

Well, at least that's what's happened to me.  I thought I'd share some of my odder moments with you from the last couple of months.


Our three year old daughter needed to wear an eye patch a couple of months ago.  It was only a transitory stage and therefore the opthalmology department provided us with a box of the adhesive patches.

Getting her to wear them was a bit of a struggle.  Not least because they really were quite adhesive and therefore getting them off was a bit of a struggle.

I therefore volunteered to wear on as 'Daddy Pirate', so that 'Baby Pirate' (three year old) would wear one too.  This went on for three days before she finally got the hang of wearing one.

It's really very difficult only having one eye.  I obviously didn't drive wearing the patch but I did pretty much everything else.  Luckily enough it was over the period of a few days when I didn't need to go anywhere and we didn't need any shopping.

Aiming at the toilet was such an issue that I decided to sit down every time.

Chopping things in the kitchen was a bit of a worry.  So much so that I banned anyone being to the left of me while I was preparing dinner.

I found myself sitting at the opposite end of the sofa to normal in order that I could see the tv better.  

When I had finally finished with the eye patch I found myself squinting for quite a few days afterwards too.  Still, our daughter took to the patches for the period she needed to.  Job done!


Tigers feature prominently in our daughter's and my games.

She likes to hide from them.  Generally under the counterpain from the bed.  Which is fun.  For about 10 seconds, then it's hot and claustrophobic and can go on for 10 minutes sometimes.

We also hunt tigers.

This is often done with a light sabre (it's the only thing we have that resembles a sword).  No one tell our son, he does't know we play with his light sabre while he's out at school.

Our daughter and I tiptoe quietly upstairs looking for said tiger.  I then scream, make her jump and run back downstairs with her flying after me, laughing hysterically.

This game is currently banned since one of those downstair flights too two big chunks out of the plaster on the wall of our stairs.  The conversation explaining what had happened to J when he came home was a bit a terse one.

We hunt tigers when we go for a walk too.  Our little girl looks behind trees, in bushes and finds the biggest stick she can both find and carry to use as defence against the lurking tigers.

Need to get her and the dog home quickly?  Just shout "the tigers are after us," consequently she and her best friend, the dog, run helter skelter for home.


Advent had a big cat theme last year too.

Our three year old daughter entered the kitchen.  "Daddy you're Santa!"

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" I fell into the role immediately.

"Nooo!  You're Lion Santa!" Our little girl hadn't finished her sentence.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! ROAR!" I complied with my character's new instruction.

"Now chase me!" She screamed.

So I chase our daughter around the house shouting "ROAAARR Ho! Ho! Ho!"

Our son is reading on the sofa.  Each time we pass he looks up and just says "Random!" And then goes back to his books.



Random.  That's a pretty good description of what I end up doing to entertain our children.