Nick King's Blog

I've done some pretty cool things, but nothing's as cool as creating our family

Random words of kindness that really do make a difference

The reaction to us as a same sex couple with children differs.  Almost universally it isn’t negative.  Odd statement, I know, but what I mean is that at worst it’s neutral; questioning sometimes, but very rarely hostile.

The majority are actually positive and supportive.  Smiling encouragement at the silliness often needed to distract our children in otherwise stressful situations.

No more so than in the confines of a busy holiday hotel restaurant.  That was the case last night. 

The kids have become quite used to, and adept at negotiating, the large array of foods available on the buffet stands.  7yo can manage on his own, 3yo needs our help but is clear in what she wants.  And what she normally wants is pasta, bread, fish fingers or sausages arranged on one of the special ‘Daisy’ kids plates.

Other than 3yo’s spectacular overturning entire table routine on the first night, the children have been remarkably well behaved at dinner, and indeed throughout our holiday.  Polite and kind to all they meet.

It was therefore a lovely affirmation when J was approached by a couple as they exited the restaurant the other evening and he was choosing a dessert.

They were British, middle aged and had been sitting a couple of tables away from us.  Unremarkable in as much that we had acknowledged their presence with a smile as we arrived but otherwise not noticed them greatly.

“We just wanted to say what a great job we think you and your partner are doing with your children,” the lady said.  “They clearly have great fun!”

It was a remarkable act of kindness for that couple to take the time and make the effort to say that to J.  It made us feel so much better about our parenting.  I’d like to think it was because we are loving and attentive parents rather than loving and attentive same sex parents.  Who can tell? But in any event, it made our day that little bit better.

I’ve remembered that comment and have repeated to other parents in the last couple of days.  Random words of kindness really do make a difference, they did for us and I hope by spreading them I’ve done so too.