Nick King's Blog

I've done some pretty cool things, but nothing's as cool as creating our family

Bit worrying large number of elderly Germans in western attire. Denim, tassels & pointy boots abound Of course its cabaret Country & Western night!

Funny old thing going on holiday.

We tend to do the same kind of thing each year, now that we have children.  We have both had pretty stressful jobs over time.  J’s job can be particularly stressful, especially during the winter.  We therefore try and take a couple of breaks a year and a very lucky enough to be able to afford to do so.

So, our trip to Spain this week isn’t out of the ordinary for us.

Things didn’t start greatly when we arrived at the airport to find the flight delayed by almost 2 hours.  They didn’t improve when we got to Spain to find that there were problems with the baggage handling system.  That therefore meant another hour waiting for our bags to appear.

I was very proud of our children throughout what turned out to be a bit of an ordeal.  We left home before 9am and didn’t arrive at our hotel until almost 8pm, yet throughout they remained polite, calm and good humoured.  That was a source of both pride and huge relief to us both.

Holiday hotels, particularly those in the Mediterranean are always interesting places.  The rather eclectic mix of clientele is, for me at least, always fascinating.

Arriving, late and rather flustered, for the buffet dinner last night was no exception.

I find the later you arrived at a continental dining room, the older the clientele tends to be.  Last night was no exception.

Lots of elderly Germans shuffling into the dining room, eying us and our children suspiciously. “Ve came later to avoid der Kinder” their expressions screamed.

Still, we waded manfully through our dinner.

While queuing for the fried steak portions I realised I was squeezed between two rather oddly dressed Teutons.

In front was a short, slim Herr, wearing pointy leather boots, tight blue jeans, a white shirt open a couple of buttons lower than was really appropriate with one of those boot laces ties around his neck with a silver toggle keeping it together.

Behind me an even more bizarrely dressed Frau, with knee length leather boots, wide denim skirt and denim jacket with tassels hanging from the arms covering a lacy blouse.

Looking around I realised there were many more elderly people dressed in a Wild West motif.  Odd, I thought, but continued with my meal selection.

The children were by this point becoming really quite tired.  The final straw for 3yo coming when I took her to get her dessert.  Holding her in my arms I chose vanilla ice cream in a cone as requested.  “Sprinkles?” I asked jovially.

“White ones,” 3yo replied.

“Not sure you will like the white ones darling,” I said. “They’re coconut, you don’t like coconut, have chocolate instead.”  “OK,” replied 3yo.

Covering vanilla tipped cone with chocolate sprinkles we return to our seat. 

As soon as we sit down, 3yo screams “Don’t want those sprinkles!” and kicks table with some force.  Entire contents of table, plates, cutlery, glasses and bottles are tipped on to the floor.  The violence and noise are worthy of a bar room brawl.

Elderly Western garbed Germans look around en masse.  Initially looking impressed thinking that one of their number has taken the Western motif to a new, authentic extreme.  Realising it’s the English gays & their kids in the corner their reaction changes, grumbling sullenly and returning to their meal.

We beat a hasty retreat, passing the main bar as the band for the evening strikes up their first number: “Stand by your man”

Of course, it’s Country and Western night and the Germans have dressed up to get in the mood!